Who told you that would always exist a happy end?
I’ve told exactly the same to so many people, but I don’t honestly believe that. Some people have not a happy end. The only have an end. And that’s all.
I don’t know if I will have a happy end, but I think that’s ok, because I never thought that my mother would have a happy end. And she’s quite happy now, even though I’m not sure if this is her end. I hope it is, because he treats her like heaven and it’s amazing to see her eyes smiling after all this years…
I’m always looking for love, on despite of not admitting this fact for other people I know me and I know what I’ve been looking for. And love is all that. Maybe I have not felt beloved by my parents? What would the psycho fucking something tell about me? I’ve heard so many things about my self that I don’t know if I believe then anymore.
The question is: how do we know if we love somebody? How do we know when it’s time to stop searching and just enjoy the sensation of being with some one else? Not only be, truly be with someone. How do we know? How do we know which are the imperfections we can deal with, the attributes we cannot live without?
Sometimes I feel like a flower, light as a feather, but a warm person told me that light things are not worthwhile.
Sometimes I feel like a rock, a stoned-hearted person that can never be in love again. Or maybe I just don’t know what love is, maybe I just had glimpse of what love can be and what it can do for me.
I’ve been inquiring after somebody, and my biggest fear is to discover that this somebody doesn’t exist… Like this ridiculous and sarcastic happiness that is always rambling around, with no direction and no reason of exist…
I hope you all understand me, because I cannot.
